How to be a Super Mom

“Haven’t you figured out where those come from?” 

“Are those all yours?” 

“You know you can do that just for fun.” 

I tried to laugh and say, “We baby proof our house but they’re still getting in.” or “I’m the coproducer of seven tax deductions.”

I’m talking about raising little ones here.

We were moving into a new neighborhood with four kids ages 18 months, 3, 4, and 5. As the boxes came off the truck I met a new neighbor, Tiko. He told me some people down the street had three kids under age 5. I shook my head and listened as he shared how he couldn’t believe people could have that many kids....

I often do that with people who bring up the subject. I enjoy hearing their thoughts and allowing them to learn about me later.

One of my favorite compliments was when someone thought my 8 year old daughter was my niece. Sadly, I knew the reason was because I was well dressed, really happy and detached, and just enjoying my precious girl.

My message today will come with resistance for some of you. You may see me as insensitive or even uncaring. Please bear with me. You are exactly the ones who need to hear it.

Why is it that so many of us have gone to some kind of therapy or group and found ourselves needing to share some of our mommy issues? Those of you who have done this after the child rearing years, have already passed along many of the same issues you needed help with. 

The reason I preface with such a serious statements is that because this is serious. Science confirms that every time we feel fear, anger, worry, or any of the negative emotions, the baby in our womb is less likely to thrive. Every time our kids see us lose it, they feel insecure. That’s bad. We do not want that.

“But kids are resilient,” you say.

That may be so, but why add more negatives for them to have to recover from or worse yet, get used to. Getting used to a negative patterns in Mom can do great damage to the children’s future potential for happiness.

The good news is that the solution is much easier than you think, but often the last thing that “good” moms do.

Let’s get specific

Sorry, I’m not going to give you a list of bullets like:

• Go on a weekly date with your spouse.
• Pray or meditate every morning before the kids wake up.
• Take a nap when the kids do.
• Do my video workouts three times a week.

The real solution is a lot more basic.

It lies in taking time to listen to our thoughts and knowing how you feel. To go to the feeling place. Ask yourself as if you are asking your friend, “How do you feel right now?”

That is where we begin. We must learn to identify our feelings. If you aren’t comfortable with that or you don’t know how, you’re like most people. If you don’t want to, you’re signing up for big problems.

If your pretty comfortable articulating or just knowing how you feel, practice it. Get a feelings journal started. But don’t stay there!

That next step is to train your thinking away from thoughts that don’t make you feel good. Take some action to distract yourself from thoughts that are critical, worried, angry, or whatever; try to think of positive aspects of that person or situation.

“But it's true!” you say.

“This did happen!"

"He did say that!"

"They are doing that!” 

Many of us are trained to constantly problem solve. This keeps us in a mode of looking for bad things to be concerned about. Praying for someone’s bad situation can become a preoccupation with the problem rather than believing for the solution. 

If a bad thing is true and we allow it to effect our day, who are we helping? Not sure, but I know who we are hurting. Our little ones experience their world through us and our reactions to it.

The solution comes now. New Moms, this is especially for you: Do whatever you can do to feel good all day long.

Oh I can hear the reactions of some of you. “How the heck am I supposed to do that?” “Are you crazy?” “This must be some New Age stuff.”

Let me know what you think. I’m willing to take some heat for the sake of the little ones.

Love and Pilates

"Is she going to write some juicy story about meeting her true love while making a pilates video in Miami? Is this about how much she just loves teaching pilates classes? Oh brother, that would really bore me."

I got involved in a Linkedin conversation. It began with a pilates teacher and her dilemma. She was having a hard time reconciling her passion for helping people with their bodies and her need to make money doing it.

As I read other's advice to her I considered my experience. What is it that I enjoy so much about this?

We all care about others to some degree. We want to see people feeling relaxed and comfortable. We like to see them smile and talk about funny stories or great events. The times when we don't are a direct reflection of our disconnect with ourselves.

We've all done it, "How is it hat she has that great car? Her father must have given it to her." or "What is he doing with that beautiful girl? She must not be very smart."

That ugliness just means we are off track. We are not opening our eyes to our innate value and worthiness. Appreciation and love, on the other hand, are powerful catalysts for multiplying the goodness around us. The beauty we appreciate is revealed. As we perceive others with tender kindness, a flood of positive energy comes.

When I am teaching a class with this love and appreciation flowing through me, its like magic. I am far from the best, most knowledgeable online pilates instructor. But when this perception of the beauty and greatness in every person is flowing, the electric current of pleasure, the eagerness to improve the body, the appreciation of the body, we all expand together toward the perfection that is already in us.

I think that's what love is. Appreciating the good and seeing it in people and things and letting those feelings flow through me. I can teach a class or make a pilates video without those feelings going through me but why would I want to?

The Tyranny of Cravings with Your Online Pilates Instructor

“I know. She’s going to tell me to eat low carb.”

Let me put it this way, If an alchoholic checks into rehab, does the treatment team say, “Lets tell the patient that he can only drink martinis?"

That is what our many diet experts have been saying by recommending fat free low calorie snacks and fruit to people who sincerely want to eat right but have become addicted to spiking their blood sugar. In our respect for these educated professionals, many of us have unwittingly increased our cravings and gained weight.

Reducing cravings is a matter of training our body to release more of the satiety and fat releasing hormones that are right there for you. You don’t have to take medications to reduce cravings. The reason that we crave is completely physiological.

The reasons you feel like eating when your body doesn’t need it are part of the thinking/feeling side of weight addressed in my Reflections for Weight Loss video series. Part three is coming soon.

The fact is that learning to stabilize our own blood sugar 24/7 is by far the most important thing we can do for our overall health. Yes, more important than eating "low fat." Our health care system is overwhelmed with people who have diseases resulting from too many high glycemic foods in their diet.

Some of the things I hear most often from my pilates students who struggle with weight are, “I eat a lot of fruit.” and “I don’t eat breakfast.” or “I eat a banana for breakfast.”

If you want to keep following the “I only eat when I feel like it” diet, you are not ready enough, not really eager and open enough to receive the new body and resulting health that are there waiting for you. One of my beginner mat pilates students just reported, "I've just been trying to follow your basic suggestions and people are saying I look like I've lost weight."

I eat protein every morning. Do I always feel hungry at that time? No. But I know that eating this way will make me feel alert and eat less for the rest of the day. Do I feel like having a mini meal at 4:00 pm? Not always. But I have learned to look forward to that time to sit for a few minutes and treat myself to some almonds and 85 dark chocolate or an apple and a slice of sharp cheddar, or even half a meat sandwich.

Scroll through the blogs for more practical help with and please share your experience with us.

Best Pilates for Your Back - with your Online Pilates Trainer

We all know the feeling.

But how did it get to this point? “I need to take better care of myself.”  “I’ve been neglecting my health.”  “I’ve put on too much weight.”

Most of us have tried to get into a better diet and exercise regimen. We hear the ongoing mental recording, “ I should be eating this, or I should be doing that.”

Though I am a pilates instructor, I am not here with a list of to-dos or “Here’s what I do.” (please...) If I didn’t do this for a living I’d be right there with you.

I want you to relax and do nothing. Yes, just go to a comfortable place, put your feet up and close your eyes. Now do it..... humor me..... 

First of all, ask yourself how you felt when I suggested that you relax. A little resistant? A lot resistant? Believe it or not this somewhat programmed reaction is part of how people come down with chronic back pain.

Some of us tell ourselves that it is better to do the thing that doesn’t feel good, like pushing into pain or loosing sleep to finish a project. This is our western upbringing. This is also the reason most of us are carrying so much weight.

Let’s go back to your job right now. Just sit there and listen to the air come into your lungs and go out five times....

Think about your body in its simplest form. You’ve got bones. Then there’s layers of muscle responding to everything you suggest. You’ve got systems inside you constantly fixing and adjusting to make you feel good without your doing anything.

You may not have felt very grateful for your body lately, but lets just think about it. You do nothing. It constantly works to make you feel good. Let’s just try to feel appreciation for about half a minute. 

You eat. Your body adjusts and fixes to make you handle the food in the best way for you. You stay up late. Your wonderful body produces hormones to help you stay alert, even after what should have been your limit. You drink too much, your resourceful body gets busy removing toxins and readjusting so that you can go to work.

Don’t you feel some love now. Some appreciation and gratitude. Its a fantastic system that doesn’t complain or force us to follow any rules. We are free. We are in charge.

What’s my point? 

Where you are now was created through several years, if not decades of repeated thought. Nothing but a fundamental change in your thinking will cause behaviors to move in a better direction. Instead of buying the latest ab machine or starting a diet plan, go within and begin practicing that gratitude and appreciation for your body.

At first it will feel strange or unfamiliar but you’ll begin to enjoy that feeling and your behaviors will effortlessly move toward health. This could happen overnight, but most likely it will be a process. A process that won’t feel like work at all. 

Get used to feeling good.

Let me know how you do!

Mom's Heartache - With Your Online Weight Loss Coach

My Mom was very beautiful. She was a trained vocalist and pianist. She had perfect olive skin and shiny mouton hair, which even now only has a touch of silver. She had dark chocolate eyes, perfect features, and J. Lo curves.

She and my Father had many challenges raising nine children. Her worst unspoken heartache? Her weight.

My sisters and I watched painfully as Mom went from one weight loss program to another; weighing and measuring, drinking gallons of water, eating cabbage soup all day. The list goes on. That is likely why we all became fitness enthusiasts. Lets see; a weight-loss chain supervisor, a college basketball coach, two pilates instructors, one of them a wellness coach, all prioritizing fitness.

Being the oldest, I retained the most acute feeling of needing to care for Mom. At 71 she is still active in the church, caring for grandchildren, passing along all the latest funny and alarming emails, and 70 lbs overweight.

I’ve tried everything I can to coach her. She still goes from one diet plan to the next.

Why tell you about my mother? Her all-too-common story illustrates the fact that losing weight and keeping it off requires a fundamental change in the way our mind and body work; our psychology and our physiology.

This is the mantra of my blog. We need to train our brain to think differently and our body to reduce cravings. The terrific news is that I am proof that it works. It takes some effort, but without the effort we can never have those delicious feelings of worthiness, accomplishment, and joy in feeling healthy and beautiful!

There is no hidden formula. My winning philosophy is based on learning to:

• keep your blood sugar stable throughout the day
• consistently visualize your body the way that you want it to be

My four week video coaching program is designed to shift your thinking and wake up muscles you never knew you had. Beginning with week one, “Pilates for Weight Loss,” is only part of the  Great Pilates Now membership.

The blog is always free and provides practical advice for keeping weight off and maintaining maximum energy.

Let's begin feeling beautiful and healthy now!